Like sands through the hourglass - the end of "Sophia Loren".

The hourglass has officially run out. Research into the shape of women in the UK has revealed that women's waists are 16cm wider than they were in 1951. We are also taller but have shot up less than we have shot out.

"Whereas size 12 was once the average, today's female is edging towards a size 16 and the classic hourglass shape is on the decline."

Dr Ian Campbell, president of the National Obesity Forum, insisted the cause could be summed up in one word - affluence. "It is not that people are greedy or lazy. It is just the whole change in our lives. Calories have become very cheap and exercise has become expensive. We have developed a culture that encourages eating. But we are working long and irregular hours and eating processed foods. Exercise is expensive because we are short of time so it is convenient to drive or use public transport rather than walk."

Studies have also found that "the traditional pear-shaped female form, where weight is carried on the hips and thighs, is on the decline and women are turning apple shaped - with growing beer bellies, a trait usually associated with overweight men... which is less healthy because it means they carry excess fat around their abdomen which can lead to heart disease and diabetes."

Requiem for an ex pill-popper.

OWCH.

4 weeks after coming off the pill and my body is behaving like a heroin-starved junkie. I knew there would be a period of adjustment, but I had no idea it would be like this! So far, here is a list of lovely experiences I've had associated with coming off the pill:

* HUGE leg cramps (kinda like sciatica, where you get 'stuck')
* Bloating. BLOAT-ING. Like "Honey, did you swallow a watermelon?"
* Pimples. I look and feel like a hormonal 15 year old again. Big puss-y welts on my face.
* Put on 1kg in 4 DAYS! (Aren't you meant to LOSE WEIGHT??? Wasn't that the whole point to doing this???)

Maybe it wasn't such a great idea to come off the pill a month before my wedding. God, I hope I don't look/feel this crap on the day. It'll be like; "here comes the bri - ARGH!!!! It's HIDEOUS!"

Is it too late to elope?

I've been soooo good too, and that's what makes this ten times more tragic. I've been dairy free,I haven't had any junk food for a week now, I've been walking at least 1/2 hour everyday (usually more), I've been sticking to my Quickloss shakes with no carbs for dinner and 2 teeny snacks... and what do I get?

Another frikkin kilo, a distended painful gut, and a face like a pizza. (Not that I'm allowed to eat pizza)

Humph.

Ow, my liver: It's too fat.

With just 17 days to go until the big day, I am resigned to the fact that a dramatic 20 kg weight loss before the day just isn't going to happen. instead I have found myself to be...ahem... the heaviest I have ever been by 10 kg. 2 weeks ago weighing in at 97kg, I immediately began walking my hubby-2-be to work each morning (30 min) and running/walking 30 min each day on the treadmill. I jumped on the scale today...

...and I have put on 1kg!

WTF!? (again)

This is so UNCOOL. I think my body is broken. Seriously. Surely?! Come on - a 200g loss for my troubles??? Even a maintain? But no...

So i took some action and I have bought some Dr Sandra Cabot meal replacement shakes and I'm gonna give them a whirl. they come witha nifty little meal planner sheet too, which looks pretty easy, and hey - at least then I dont have to worry about weighing/measuring/eating wrong size portions. Then at least I can say 'Well, it's not my diet" if I gain more weight (GOD FORBID).

Sandra Cabot wrote the Liver Cleasing Diet, which is basically an institution here in Australia among nutritionists and naturopaths... You guys heard of it overseas??? Anywho, it's pretty hard to stick to, but it's only for 8 weeks and it gets easier as you go. It's like a big detox. My hardest thing is giving up wheat products and dairy - OOOOHHHH dairy. That bit HURTS! Not for Laura tho - she makes me sick; she's just so damn dedicated to veganism and getting healthy. You go girl!

Hopefully more positive things to report next post.

My husband is a health hazard.

Reading Cranky's blog and Laura's had me yelling "YES! YES! YES!" at my computer screen this morning. Does your boyf/hubby sabotage your best efforts to be fit and healthy too? I swear to god, since Ben and I got together, I have put on 10 kg - Disaster.

So, I'm gonna read a few of their tips and try to put them into progress....

"I suppose I could call it 'doing Atkins'..."

Kore wa nan desu ka? (Translation: what is this?)

On my never ending quest for weight loss related answers, I have been excited to discover that my little redneck town has finally begun to grow up and mature - ladies and gentlemen: We now have an Asian Grocery Store!!! Ben and I were chomping at the bit to get down there and have a look!

OMG. It's a veritable smorgasboard of unusual, pungent, exotic, un-translatable gastronomic treasures...

ok, so it's really pretty tiny comparitively, but people: this is a tiny town on the south coast of Australia where the closest we come to culture is Friday Night Chinese at the Bowling Club.

Ben and I have made it our goal to try something new each time we go there. We search the shelves, alternately gasping, scratching our heads, and peering at kanji characters, and then admit defeat and ask the friendly cashier what the little-brown-rolly-things-in-salt are.

I've noticed a few things that may be of interest to my fellow weightloss-ologists out there:

1) An absence of chocolate and dairy products. None. Not one. Interesting...

2) Most snack foods in the Asian Grocery are of the low-GI persuasion, for example; salted sunflower seeds. By the time you nibble the hull of the seed, there aint much seed there. High effort: Teeny tiny morsels.

3) More savoury and salty than sweet. Lots of rice crackers, meat, fish, beans, rice noodles, vegies, preserved fruits, dried EVERYTHING.

Right now I am cooking some sushi rice, and Ben is making instant chicken and onion ramen...

I am drinking Genmai cha, which is a green tea with roasted brown rice. It's yum - kinda like a nutty, 'cooked' taste on top of normal green tea. It's very smooth too, not bitter at all.

Yes, in order to ' the full flavour' it, the brewing needs to be swift. LOL don't ya just love Engrish?

I also bought this "3 Ballerinas" tea which appealed because Hey, 'ballerinas': They're really thin. Unfortunately upon closer inspection, I think the more apt connection here is that the tea contains mallow and senna; senna being a natural laxative. "Excess consumption may have...."

More adventures from the Asian grocery to come...

Finally, a pic of me snuggling my gorgeous little orange man, Henry. Can you believe someone gave this little guy up and couldn't bond with him?

Day 1 - hungry but determined.

Stomach feels flatter.... but that maybe because there is nothing in it!

Feel hungry - not eating carbs is so... unsatisfying. However, rest assured that when I am feeling hungry, my body must be burning something - so if there's no food/carbs in me, it must be fat right??? right???

hum.

Thank the gods for Coke Zero - a legal sin.

Stuck to the plan today -

vanilla shake for breakfast

piece cheese and slice of ham for snack

iced green tea (homemade with no cal sweetener)

caramel shake for lunch

boiled egg for snack

coffee (Lfat milk) + strawberries

sml tin salmon + cup of tea

pork and vegies for dinner

whittakers choc almond bar

ok... the end was a bit dodgy, but I chose the smallest bar I could with the most nuts. Hey, it's mostly almonds really, right??? right???

you can see when I get the nibbles - after lunch before dinner (bout 4pm). But I stuck to it - I'm proud of myself.

Such is my desperation.

I'm doing something I said I wouldn't do. I'm having meal-replacement shakes.

Yes - I know. You'd normally find me up on my soap-box waxing-lyrical that "they're not a long-term solution" and "they dont change your lifestyle or encourage better choices" etc etc. I hear you. But at the moment, I'm clutching at straws. My pants are tight, my wedding is nigh, and I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life.

I'm in serious 'damage control' mode.

Basically I wanted to eliminate the thinking for a little while. I dont want to count calories/carbs/points/fat grams. I'm suffereing diet burn-out, but I need to lose weight before it gets seriously outta control.

So the plan is simple. Very very simple.

shake for breaky, shake for lunch, fruit/veg only in between, and lots of water.

My very long-suffering and infinitely-understanding fiance has not scoffed at my little sachets of chemicals once (to his immense credit), and has once again said "ok, so i just cook you exactly what I'd cook us normally, I just put carbs in mine not yours, right?"

Thank god for Ben. Each time I have cried over my weight, or had a binge, or presented him with some new eating plan; he never laughs or judges. He simply nods understandingly and says "What can't I cook you now?" or "Ok, great. So what recipes are out there for meals involving just egg whites and grapefruit?"

You're a star, Benj!

Ok... not thinking about weight loss or food or counting or fat. Just drinking my shakes and sticking to the deal.

Calling in reinforcements.

So in the absence of any former success (long-term) in the weightloss department, I've decided to opt for the last resort. The only thing I know of that I haven't tried. I'm calling for back-up:

I'm getting a shrink.

Well, I've asked my doctor for a referral letter anyway. Dr K is an absolute legend, and has helped me manage my depression thus far, but I need to get over this last hurdle; how to deal with things without turning to my crutch of choice: Chocolate.

Now; I know it might shock you, Dear Readers, but this will be my first visit to a psychologist. I am packing it. I'm gonna have to actually tell someone the TRUTH about my relationship with food. My relationship with my Dad? My relationship with myself? Oh god... I don't know if i can do this! I mean, I know I dont want to be a "fat bride" in January, but maybe if I just keep burying my head in the sand and pretending to do weight watchers when eveyone is looking but actually eating about 10000 calories a day, you know, the way I've been doing for the past 10 years, maybe... this time I'll magically lose 20kg...? No...?

Ok. Maybe not.

The problem is: I am depressed. And I live a VERY full-on stressful lifestyle. My days consist of running between teaching children, riding horses, going to theatre meetings, doing theatre, trying to be a runner, and sharing myself between my family, my partner's family, 2 dogs, 2 horses, a canary and 5 fish. Conversations in my head usually go like this:

Me: I need chocolate.

Myself: why?

Me: Cause I want it.

Myself: You're freakin' 20kgs overweight! You dont need chocolate, you just ate an hour ago, and it's not going to help you lose weight - which will ultimately make you more unhappy!

Me: ...shut up brain.

Myself: Come on... if you dont have chocolate...um... you can have a ...a... delicious... carrot.

Me: Pfft, how often has that line worked?

Myself: Ok ok, how bout this. You could go for a walk! That would make you feel better!!!

Me: Are you kidding me? that's the best you can do? I want chocolate - sweet sweet snuggle up on the couch-better-than-sex chocolate, and you suggest exercise??? The thing I hate most? we've talked about this: Exercise endorphins are a myth.

Myself: Hmm.

Me: AND if I eat this chocolate, I may put on 4kg in a week, and feel more depressed later, but for NOW (and that's all I really care about) I can just sit down and do something nice like eating chocolate and not think about all the other things I have to do today.

Myself: ...but...

Me: Are you still here? Shut the hell up.


It's a pointless conversation. Followed by one that goes like this:


Me: Ohhhh why did I eat that whole block???

Myself: ...*ahem*

Me: Yes I know I KNOW! I shouldn't have done it! It was like a thousand points on weight watchers, and I'll never work that off. It tasted good for about 2 bites, then I just couldn't stop! I didn't want to go do washing or walk on the treadmill, so I sat and ate the rest. I am SO hopeless. No wonder I'm so fat. I'm gonna get so big, I'll be one of those horror-story people who get so fat they cant get out of their custom-built arm chairs and need to be sponge-bathed and pee through a tube... Why cant I diet??? Why dont I love salad and exercise??? Why cant I be one of those people who doesn't really care for chocolate? (freaks.)

Myself: ... well if you'd listened before...

Me: Are you still here? Shut the hell up.


*sigh* I'm going to be fat forever.

Day 2 - MIGRAINE. Day 3 - Ugh.

Still on the detox. Had the biggest migraine for the first 2 days. Might have been caffeine withdrawal!

Feeling OK today on day 3, but pretty weak and tired. Have also had bouts of diarrhoea. Lovely. *cringe*. But it feels good to be doing something good for my body again. Have been having hot water with 1/2 a lemon squeezed in every morning (fresh from our tree! It's LOADED! We can just reach out the window and pick the hugest lemons!). Then I have a fresh fruit and veg juice, and a piece of fruit. For morning snack, I made a 'trail mix' of almonds, sultanas, pepitas, sunflower seeds and pine nuts. I've been having a huge salad or a bowl of vege soup for lunch. Natural live yogurt and honey for afternoon tea, and more vege soup or a baked potato with avocado for dinner. And of course, i drink lots of water a cups of green tea during the day.

It's actually been ok, apart from the migraines and occasional furtive trips to the loo! I dont feel hungry, and I LOVE LOVE LOVE natural yogurt and honey - so it's a yummy treat I can still have. Last day tomorrow... I'll let you know how it goes...

starting to lose focus

I put some weight back on, and n0ow I feel disheartened. This is kinda what happens with me - a viscious cycle. I experience success, then I slacken off a bit, then I put a bit of weight back on, then I feel disappointed, then I put MORE weight on from comfort eating. Bad cycle.

Connie's wedding is in 2 weeks and I am desperate to lose SOME weight before that. Plus the city to surf is coming up, and I'm only gonna be making the run harder for myself if I am heavier.

The last run I did was REALLY hard. I really felt like I was going to faint and/or be sick. I must be the only person on earth who can train for weeks and actually be LESS FIT than when they started. I'm going out with the school kids again today... we'll see how it goes I guess.

On an upside, I get bad bloating. No - that's not the upside!!! The upside is, I was reading about Irritable Bowel Syndrome and decided it may be why I'm feeling bloated alot. I bought some IBS Support capsules at the chemist recently just to give them a try, and I actually haven't felt bloated since I started taking them! Huh?! Maybe all that time, that was it? *fingers crossed*

I weigh-in again tomorrow - I hope I have better news for you then!

BTW - have you seen The Penguin Chronicles? It's the site for people like me (and you?) check it out. "I am a Penguin - hear me roar!". Love ya work, John!

Yay! guess wot! Have lost 2.5 Kilos!!!! :) Been diligently watching what I eat, and if I stuff up, I try to do a bit more exercise that day. Still doing the Biggest Loser Club - I find that using the online diary keeps me honest! Gosh - haven't been this weight for... ages! Feels good.

Booked our wedding reception! The place is called 'Waterslea' and it's run by the Anglican youthworks. It's right on the Shoalhaven River and it has 2 big reception rooms. They do the catering out there, and the view is absolutely BEAUTIFUL - even if it rains!

The big date will be 25th January 2008 (The day before the Australia Day public holiday! Woohoo: Day off!) Stay tuned...

Game on.

Ok. So, three weeks of torture (running) and I haven't lost a thing. I've wavered around 92/91kg. But I haven't been eating the best - I'll admit.

So my GF Coralie and I went to Wollongong to have our hair cuts yesterday, and we made a plan - Connie's wedding is in 12 weeks (ARGH! CONNIE!).

We are gonna lose 10 kilos in 12 weeks.

We are gonnna do some form of exercise everyday and we are gonna stick to the weight watchers eating plan. We are gonna check in with each other every Wednesday night, and compare food diaries. That way; we are accountable to each other at least.

So: Who's with us?

Lies.

Ok. For the record - I dont believe in endorphins. I think the concept of endorphins is just some big scam conspiracy, especially when related to exercise.

I personally have never felt any sort of 'high' from exercising. In fact each time I try to run for 2 minutes on my treadmill, I can quite honestly say without a hint of hyperbole, that it is the worst and most painful 2 minutes of my life. (No I haven't had children yet - for all you post-natural-childbirth mums shaking their heads knowingly at me).


I HATE running. Why anyone would do it for fun is beyond me. If I wasn't chanting "wedding dress, wedding dress, wedding dress" with every forced stride, I wouldn't do it. I feel like my lungs are on fire, I sweat like no one I've ever seen before, I feel dizzy, and I feel like my legs are filled with wet sand.

I HATE IT.

I believe the only "rush" anyone gets from exercise is not "an exhilararing rush of endorphins", but a sheer rush of relief at having stopped exercising.

Check out EXTREME PETE!

This is the coolest dog I've ever seen!

Hmm... so what else is new? Um I have been diligently walk/running on my treadmill most days, if i dont do that, I walk my dogs, do the NYC ballet workout, or go to pump class.

Have still only lost 1 kg, but I remember this happening last time I went on a health kick, So I'm not really worried. I'll just keep doing it because it's good for me! :)

Have been trying to eat well... but... yesterday Ben brought Maccas home for lunch, and i ate it - of course (ZERO willpower), but then I ran on the treadmill. It was HARD yesterday for some reason. I still did 30 minutes of walking with s lots of 2 minute runs, bt they nearly killed me yesterday! then we had a healthy dinner: And I ate half a packet of chips. Not a small packet either. Dammit. Trouble is, Ben loves his junk food and I dont wanna deprive him, but I just have NO willpower round any of that stuff. I'm like an alcoholic in a bar.

Any suggestions anyone?

Maybe if I find a low fat alternative I can whip out if he's eating stuff like that, so i dont feel like I'm being left out...?

So today I'm detoxing. I've had fruit for breakfast, fruit and vegetable juices all day, and green/herbal tea. I've made sushi for dinner, and I bought a punnet of strawberries for dessert.

I've walked to dogs this morning, and I plan to do the NYC workout this afternoon. So I'm doin' ok. Nothing to show for it, but it feels good to be doing good things for my body.

So I've been researching wedding colour schemes, and at first I wanted either pink/chocolate brown, or turquoise/chocolate brown...

So I asked Ben what colours he liked, and of course he said: Red and Gold.
Eek.

Okay... So I did some web-surfing and I think I may have found a compromise...

A cherry blossom theme - Mostly pale pink, brown and white, but with red and gold accents.

This would be good because I have a fascination with all things Japanese, and Ben does too. I LOVE cherry blossoms, and I hate the thought of a big frou-frou bouquet, but would not be opposed to carrying a sprig of cherry blossom. We're thinking April wedding (2009), which is also the right time of year.

I was watching Memoirs of a Geisha the other day end even though I LOVED the book, but was disappointed with the film, there are a few scenes where you can see the colours I mean...

Here's a cherry blossom themed wedding, but I think I'd want it paler, and softer pink than this.

More like this...
What do you think?

My fat is shaking in its boots!

So far so good. I've made some big changes to help me with my double goal of running (oh god - running) the City To Surf this year, and to wear a size 12/14 wedding dress. (No: Haven't set a date yet... let me get my head around wearing a ring on my left hand first!)

Here's the list so far:

1) I have bought a treadmill AND vow to use it almost everyday. Each day when I'm not riding or going to the gym, I walk for at least 30 minutes. I can presently run for 3 lots of 2min. Then I want to curl up in a sweating, wheezing, shaking heap and die. However, i figure if I can keep that up, soon I'll be able to increase my times by 1 minute at a time.

And seeing as the City To Surf takes 3 - 4 HOURS, that would be really handy. Really.

2) My friends Max, Kylie, Connie and I have hit our local gym and go to a weekly 'Pump' class which usually has me walking down stairs like a slow-motion Frankenstein for days afterwards.

Scary thing is: The class is run by our high school's middle-aged librarian, and you would never know it, but SHE IS RIPPED! The librarian! (What: Are you, like, lifting the Encyclopedias while no one's looking, Kerrie???) She's this lovely, mellow, be-spectacled teacher-librarian by day, but by night she becomes a muscle-bound, ass-kicking sadist of a gym instructor. It's like Jekyl and Hyde! It's like Arnold Swarzeneggar in Kindergarten Cop.

3) I also bought the New York City Ballet's Workout video, just coz I'm too fat and embarrassed to join a real dance class, but I love how elegant and flexible things like ballet and yoga and pilates make you feel.

I had a go at the warm up and some of the stretching today. Note to self: Put the dogs outside BEFORE doing this again. I'm sure no ballerina at the NYC Ballet ever has to do floor stretches while simoultaneously defending her face from enthusiastic puppy licks.

Must lose some flab!

Borrowed this from channel4.com... Don't ya love it? LOL Must hit the treadmill...

I just always imagined that my "big fat" wedding would be more like this one

Than this one

*sigh*

Same number: But it's better than gaining weight!!

Self-helpless

No way, Jose!

Now, I dont want you to get too excited, but I'm embarking on a little bit of self-improvment at the moment... I dont know where it's come from, but I'm on a roll, so I'm sticking to it.

I have started keeping a food diary (as recommended by Aj Rochester, author of the book "Confessions of a Reformed Dieter" - BRILLIANT book. If you haven't read it - DO IT NOW!) and I've been really putting some effort in with my exercise. I've been doing at least 30 minutes of exercise every day: Either walking the dogs, running, going to the gym, or riding my bike. I've also started riding my bike or walking to work instead of driving, although this week we've had a week of solid rain, so I've had to drive - otherwise I'd have to swim to work!

I really need to lose some kgs. Really. I'm 175cm, and 90kg. I think it was actually seeing that figure - 90 - on the scales that freaked me out and pushed me into doing something about my health. Also, recently I have noticed my fitness slide in the wrong direction. I am using my asthma inhaler more frequently, and I've been feeling pain in my chest when i do power-walking at school with my sport-group. NOT GOOD.

So. Time for action. I need to get my ass off the couch and moving, before this downhill slide becomes an avalanche!

My first goal - 85kg.

HEAR THAT CYBER-WORLD??? HEAR THAT EVERYONE! I - Anjel - hereby promise to hit 85kg before the christmas holidays!

I am following the plan in AJ's book, keeping the food diary, and there's another thing...

Next year, my school wants to send a team to run the City to Surf. I plan to be on that excursion running those 14K's with those kids.

...oh god - what am I saying??? 14 Kilometres???? I cant even run 100 metres! It seems completely insane, and completely impossible... but hell. That's the kinda woman I am.

BRING IT ON.


This'll be me next year. NOT.

Confessions of a yo-yo dieter.

So in my quest to become a svelte equestrienne (yeah right) and not look like this



I have embarked on many (some quite ridiculous) diets. Here's a few:

1) The all-soup diet (you spend all day pee-ing, and by about day 4, you NEVER want to see a bowl of soup again)
2) Weight watchers (Got tired of spending my life walking around with a calculator round my neck)
3) Atkins (constipated. Didn't lose a thing.)
4) vegetarianism (felt ok, but didn't lose a thing)
5) The only eat an apple a day diet (ok I invented this one as a teenager. It worked until I passed out one day at school, and everyone found out I'd been starving myself)
6) The No Sugar, eat every 2 hours diet (weight exploded! "Oh, my meals were meant to be THAT small...")
7) The oranges-only diet (VERY similar to the 'eat an apple a day diet'. Mouth ulcers and BAD acne breakouts)
8) The raw food diet ("I'm STARVING! Dont stand too close or I'll gnaw your arm off!")
9) The "To-hell-with-it" diet. (Ate anything I wanted. Which was basically anything that wasn't tied down. Put on 20 kg)
10) The "To-hell-with-it" diet - mark 2. (Tried to eat nothing all day, and log onto pro-ana websites for 'Thinsperation'. Realising I didn't even have to willpower to hate myself that much, made me hate myself.)

So, conclusion: Diets don't work. I dont know what does, but if I find out, I'll let you know, ok?

The incredible shrinking woman!

Ok, so something happened today that I really can't explain. I mean I can, but not really. First of all, I have been drinking these shakes called Celebrity Slim for lunch instead of a sandwich or whatever.

Let me just state here for the record, that I am TOTALLY sceptical that these meal replacement shakes work. I mean, really? And even though I probably do need to shed a few kilos, this is not the main reason that I have been taking these shakes for lunch.

The main reason is, Couch-ites, that I'm just incredibly lazy and cant be bothered making myself a decent lunch. And hey - I'm a teacher: So it's like "What lunch-break?". I never have time to sit down to a proper lunch, so I thought, these are yummy, and you just add water, and at least I wont be hungry. And I just take a yoghurt and some fruit to snack on.

BUT. Here's the thing: Today I put on this vest I wear riding my horse, and it's usually a bit snug, but it's thick, so... whatever. And today...

ZIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP!

The zip slid straight up, and it was - get this - ROOMY! Um, what the...? I actually took the vest off, shook it in puzzlement, and put it back on, just to make sure! Sure enough: ZIP!

I might be onto something here - and I'm not even having the shakes twice a day like it recommends! I'll let you know how it goes...