Saturday, June 16, 2007

Confessions of a yo-yo dieter.

So in my quest to become a svelte equestrienne (yeah right) and not look like this



I have embarked on many (some quite ridiculous) diets. Here's a few:

1) The all-soup diet (you spend all day pee-ing, and by about day 4, you NEVER want to see a bowl of soup again)
2) Weight watchers (Got tired of spending my life walking around with a calculator round my neck)
3) Atkins (constipated. Didn't lose a thing.)
4) vegetarianism (felt ok, but didn't lose a thing)
5) The only eat an apple a day diet (ok I invented this one as a teenager. It worked until I passed out one day at school, and everyone found out I'd been starving myself)
6) The No Sugar, eat every 2 hours diet (weight exploded! "Oh, my meals were meant to be THAT small...")
7) The oranges-only diet (VERY similar to the 'eat an apple a day diet'. Mouth ulcers and BAD acne breakouts)
8) The raw food diet ("I'm STARVING! Dont stand too close or I'll gnaw your arm off!")
9) The "To-hell-with-it" diet. (Ate anything I wanted. Which was basically anything that wasn't tied down. Put on 20 kg)
10) The "To-hell-with-it" diet - mark 2. (Tried to eat nothing all day, and log onto pro-ana websites for 'Thinsperation'. Realising I didn't even have to willpower to hate myself that much, made me hate myself.)

So, conclusion: Diets don't work. I dont know what does, but if I find out, I'll let you know, ok?

2 comments:

Dalim said...

I laughed and laughed and laughed.. but then again you were standing behind me so I guess you knew that!

Constance Parker said...

I know it's kinda cliched and all...but...you do realize that you're super-hawt the way you are, right? Dieting is all good for the health reasons, but as for looks you're the tops in my book. Now that I've sligtly outed myself, back to your regluar programming. :P