Showing posts with label fat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fat. Show all posts

Friday, January 16, 2009

Like sands through the hourglass - the end of "Sophia Loren".


The hourglass has officially run out. Research into the shape of women in the UK has revealed that women's waists are 16cm wider than they were in 1951. We are also taller but have shot up less than we have shot out.
"Whereas size 12 was once the average, today's female is edging towards a size 16 and the classic hourglass shape is on the decline."
Dr Ian Campbell, president of the National Obesity Forum, insisted the cause could be summed up in one word - affluence. "It is not that people are greedy or lazy. It is just the whole change in our lives. Calories have become very cheap and exercise has become expensive. We have developed a culture that encourages eating. But we are working long and irregular hours and eating processed foods. Exercise is expensive because we are short of time so it is convenient to drive or use public transport rather than walk."
Studies have also found that "the traditional pear-shaped female form, where weight is carried on the hips and thighs, is on the decline and women are turning apple shaped - with growing beer bellies, a trait usually associated with overweight men... which is less healthy because it means they carry excess fat around their abdomen which can lead to heart disease and diabetes."

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Just a regular Pretzelly Saturday.


I am such a hopeless slave to consumer-driven society. Today whilst watching a tv show (okay: It was a kids cartoon. Shut up.) they showed the characters going to a fair-ground and eating those big large soft pretzels.

Instantly, I was on the net looking for recipes. The only place you can get those big pretzels that I've found is a mere 3 hour drive from my house in Coastal/rural Australia. I LOVE the cinnamon sugar one sooo much. And the vanilla almond ones. And...

So anyway. I am now waiting impatiently for my yeast to rise so I can cook them. I even went out to buy yeast and baking powder, so dedicated was I to my baking idea.

I should go for a walk or run, but I have a terrible head cold... (excuses, excuses), so am drinking coffee and eating 3 tim tams instead. *sigh*. One week til the City to Surf.
Today whilst buying my yeast, I ran into another rubenesque goddess who I haven't seen for a while. She also recently got married, so I confessed my fears about going to buy "The Dress". It was so good to talk to someone who gets it. She had the same problems apparently, and told me she once walked into a local lingerie shop, only to be looked up and down by the sales clerk and told "We have nothing in your size".
!!!
The girl is maybe a size 22! And thank goodness she is no push-over, so she gave this woman the biggest serving she's probably ever had. YAY! - Go girl!
She ended up trying on dress after dress and leaving stores in tears, which is exactly what I envision happening to me. Her advice - go to the bigger stores in the city where they have more range, or get something made for you. And definitly DON'T settle for second best. Ever.
Don't you love her?
btw - she looked absolutely STUNNING on her wedding day, in a dress inspired by the Queen of Hearts! It was white and red, and definitely made the most of her 'assets'. VIVA Michelle!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Ok - I'm having a fully fledged fat-girl FREAK-OUT!!!

Am REALLY freaking out about trying on wedding dresses. I have been avoiding it. The thing is, it's the dress. The one that's meant to make you feel spectacular. And I know I'm too fat to be a bride. I am. I'm gonna look horrible and I'm gonna hate that I do, and then i'm gonna regret it for ever. Can I swap bodies for the day?

I dont want to go dress shopping and have what normally happens happen. It looks dreamy on the rack, and then I put it on and I bulge out of it like a ham with those strings around it. Or worse still - I cant even get it on at all. And it'll be like "oh well for your size, we have THESE dresses..." yuk.

Am having a MAJOR fat-girl freak-out here. i dont wanna get married. I dont want to be a fat bride. But if I post-pone it to diet - what if I never get thin? (Hey - I've had no success so far). Then what?

What if I look fat in every wedding photo? The photos that I will never show my kids, because I'm so embarrassed. What if my only memory of my wedding day, is how frumpy I felt? And - what if my bridesmaids show me up? Which is very likely considering the exotic beauties I have as friends... Ok, I want my friends to look and feel stunning on the day too, but god damn it -

It's MY DAY!!!

Just for one goddamn day - just one - I wanna be the most gorgeous woman in the room. JUST ONCE.

Oh god... I'm freaking out. badly. Help.

help. I dont wanna get married. I mean, I love Ben and I wanna be with him for ever...

...But I just dont wanna be a fat bride.

help.

Oh god NO.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Must lose some flab!



Borrowed this from channel4.com... Don't ya love it? LOL Must hit the treadmill...

I just always imagined that my "big fat" wedding would be more like this one

Than this one



*sigh*

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Oh no. NOW look what I've gone and done...

You turn your back on me for 5 minutes ("I'm just moving... I'll be back..." RIGHT), and I go and promise to enter THIS! I've really put my foot in it this time!



Here's a bit more info to prove just how insane this is.



Yeah - that's right: 14 KILOMETRES. Of running *shudder*

Yes. Me. A 20-something overweight asthmatic who would rather poke out her own eyes with chopsticks than participate in sport. This time I have truly gone insane.

What am I going to do????

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Confessions of a yo-yo dieter.

So in my quest to become a svelte equestrienne (yeah right) and not look like this



I have embarked on many (some quite ridiculous) diets. Here's a few:

1) The all-soup diet (you spend all day pee-ing, and by about day 4, you NEVER want to see a bowl of soup again)
2) Weight watchers (Got tired of spending my life walking around with a calculator round my neck)
3) Atkins (constipated. Didn't lose a thing.)
4) vegetarianism (felt ok, but didn't lose a thing)
5) The only eat an apple a day diet (ok I invented this one as a teenager. It worked until I passed out one day at school, and everyone found out I'd been starving myself)
6) The No Sugar, eat every 2 hours diet (weight exploded! "Oh, my meals were meant to be THAT small...")
7) The oranges-only diet (VERY similar to the 'eat an apple a day diet'. Mouth ulcers and BAD acne breakouts)
8) The raw food diet ("I'm STARVING! Dont stand too close or I'll gnaw your arm off!")
9) The "To-hell-with-it" diet. (Ate anything I wanted. Which was basically anything that wasn't tied down. Put on 20 kg)
10) The "To-hell-with-it" diet - mark 2. (Tried to eat nothing all day, and log onto pro-ana websites for 'Thinsperation'. Realising I didn't even have to willpower to hate myself that much, made me hate myself.)

So, conclusion: Diets don't work. I dont know what does, but if I find out, I'll let you know, ok?

The incredible shrinking woman!

Ok, so something happened today that I really can't explain. I mean I can, but not really. First of all, I have been drinking these shakes called Celebrity Slim for lunch instead of a sandwich or whatever.

Let me just state here for the record, that I am TOTALLY sceptical that these meal replacement shakes work. I mean, really? And even though I probably do need to shed a few kilos, this is not the main reason that I have been taking these shakes for lunch.

The main reason is, Couch-ites, that I'm just incredibly lazy and cant be bothered making myself a decent lunch. And hey - I'm a teacher: So it's like "What lunch-break?". I never have time to sit down to a proper lunch, so I thought, these are yummy, and you just add water, and at least I wont be hungry. And I just take a yoghurt and some fruit to snack on.

BUT. Here's the thing: Today I put on this vest I wear riding my horse, and it's usually a bit snug, but it's thick, so... whatever. And today...

ZIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP!

The zip slid straight up, and it was - get this - ROOMY! Um, what the...? I actually took the vest off, shook it in puzzlement, and put it back on, just to make sure! Sure enough: ZIP!

I might be onto something here - and I'm not even having the shakes twice a day like it recommends! I'll let you know how it goes...