Hello (hellohellohello)
Is any one out there? (outthere?outthere?outthere?)
I think I've found the diet-void! (oid!oid!oid!)
I am in a rut. I've entered Rutsville - Population: Me.
Is any one out there? (outthere?outthere?outthere?)
I think I've found the diet-void! (oid!oid!oid!)
I am in a rut. I've entered Rutsville - Population: Me.
It's Rut-tastic.
I'm Rut-alicious.
Go directly to rut: Do not pass go, do not collect 200 calories.
Here's the thing, it's like when you're about to do your HSC at the end of high school, and you know you should be studying, but your brain is just burnt-out and in automatic-pilot mode. Like when you just stare at the books, and nothing happens.
That's me.
I KNOW the wedding is 4 months away. I KNOW I should be dieting. I KNOW I have infact PUT ON weight. And my mind just shuts down.
Diets dont work. Exercise hasn't worked. I don't know how to just "be healthy and normal". So my brain has just stepped out. I see all these dieting/foodplan/exercise plan options, and I just think: "Which one should I pick, when I know I'm just going to hate doing it and not lose weight anyway?"
I think I may be.... giving up. That's a scary prospect. Cause if I give up; that means I'm gonna be "the big girl" forever. No "hooray, hooray success" stories. A fat girl wedding dress. No walking into my 10 year high school reunion and watching the jaws drop. No wonderful day where I sweep in to the room in a size 10 dress and 'stick-it' to all the superficial men that rejected me 'cause I was too fat.
Feeling like this forever. Because I know what i should be doing, and I just cant do it. I mean i KNOW I should eat 1400 calories a day and exercise for 30 mins everyday and eat 30g of cereal and a banana for breakfast, chicken and salad for lunch, and 100g of lean meat with salad for dinner and drink at least 2L of water a day and limit caffeine and sugar, and cut out soft drink and processed and refined foods....
I KNOW ALL THAT.
But when I do do it, life sucks, and it doesn't work anyway.
So now what? 
2 comments:
Hang in there ;-) As long as you keep on pluggin away you'll get to where you want to be (it might be slow and it may not be as fast as you want, but hey you'll get there). Ruts are OK, it's when you DON'T brush it off and keep going is when it's the prob :-)
I know how you feel!
I go through ups and downs like this all the time.
The scale will catch up with you if you keep pushing away at it.
Jenn
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