Is anything possible?

Hi there! I haven't spoken to you for a while, have I? Sorry about that; things just get so busy and the time really flys!

Well, what's the latest...? I've been thinking alot about my goals, and what I want to do now - now that I've finished uni and stuff. I feel like I'm on the edge of something, you know? Like: "Ok, I've done my time now. I've done the uni-thing, done what everyone expected, done the 'sensible' thing. I have a nice adult sensible career behind me - NOW what do I want to do?" I dont want to grow old and grey, and regret that I never did something amazing with my life. I never wanted mediocrity. Mediocrity scares the shit outta me.

A quote from one of my favourite all-time movies, National Velvet:

"I believe everyone should be entitled to one piece of breathless folly in their lives"

And I dont want to miss my chance at folly.

There's just one little snag: In order to do something great, you have to believe yourself capable of greatness.

When I was a kid, I TRULY believed that I could be the greatest horse rider in the world. I knew if I worked as hard as I could, I could get to the olympics. When do we lose that optimism and self-belief? Why do we? Because surely, it's the TRUTH. Because it does happen. Olympic riders believe they can get there, they work as hard as they can to train, and they get there. So what is it that makes an olympian keep believing it, and others 'grow up', or 'face reality', or 'get real'. Why do we stop believing that anything is possible?

I remember once, that a friend of mine went to the national pony club championships in Perth last year, and it made me think. How is it that the two of us come from the same place, similar backgrounds, the same resources, began riding at similar ages (me first - come to think of it), and as time goes on, I begin to realise that if I said to my parents "Hey guys - I wanna compete at nationals - I'm an excellent rider - I wanna ship my horse across the continent" it would be a complete joke. Yeah, right - That's gonna happen! I wouldn't have even asked.

And yet, off she went. Obviously, she knew it was possible for her. She didn't think it was a breathless piece of folly - she thought "I'm good enough, I've worked hard enough, so let's get my horse and me over there".

I didn't even have enough belief in myself and my abilities to even tell my parents about it.

What is that? What makes it a joke for me to ride at Nationals, and a possibility for her?

What makes it laughable for someone like me to aim for the olympic games, but not for a chick from South Australia with non-horsey parents, a similar financial situation/upbringing to mine? I speak here of Gill Rolton - Dual Olympic Gold Medallist.

I wonder if Gill ever thought: "Me? Go across the country to compete in a horse show? Ha! As if I'M that good? Yeah, right! I'd have a hide to even THINK of asking..."